FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Oh, very well then! Just Fiona, yes.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org But ah...you mean compared to back home, I suppose? It's rather impressive, I will admit. Haven't taken a very thorough look myself yet [on account of haphazardly sleeping since shortly after their arrival, much the same as almost everyone else in Blue at this point] but from what I've read in the files, this crewship's capacity is around 12000 personnel. Quite a few specialized rooms and facilities as well!
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Technically speaking that means we're standing in something larger than a Victory-class Star Destroyer, if I recall the numbers right....that was the biggest ship I was ever in before. This is more like a colony vessel, really.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Then again, however, Star Destroyers are implicit warships, and I think the Neheda is at least partially intended to be part-time residency for CDC recruits as well. So that evens things out a bit, I think...
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org In essence! Apartment complex is a close enough idea, I suppose.
[A small bit of delay after that, though--not substantial, but probably noticeable. At length:]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Most of the ships I was on in the last three years were warships, yes. Perhaps the occasional political escort, but the majority were combat-designated.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Certainly pretty cozy, yes! Or at least, this isn't the worst room I've ever slept in, by a long shot...
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Yes, there was a war. But you've certainly no need to apologize, Fiona--the war was not your fault.
And it's over now, so there's nothing much to be done about it. No more warships for me. [Well, until the CDC decides to drop him on one, probably. But the Neheda doesn't seem to be one yet, and that's enough for now.]
[A response doesn't come for a long time, actually. Maybe he's debating answering it at all. Or maybe he's trying to figure out how, where to even start, when in the end--
Well, in the end....]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org What it was about?
I wish I knew.
[Yeah, sometimes maybe the honest route is the best one, in the end.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org As you can probably guess by now, the war lasted about three years. All Jedi were made automatic generals. We were peacekeepers, not military, but...
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org We thought we were doing what was right. All we wanted was to end the war as soon as we possibly could. But we were not fighting for the cause we thought we were.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org To be honest with you, Fiona, I'm afraid I'm still trying to figure out what that cause was myself.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Yes. It wasn't terribly enjoyable, to be honest. I never thought myself particularly cut out for general business, you know?
[The Council always called him one of the best. He still has a difficult time really believing it.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org I do appreciate the sentiment, thank you. I suppose safe would be the word... [Actually, probably not really. Is being one of the galaxy's most wanted criminals now a particularly safe occupation? But still, could be worse--so it's still technically right. Technically.] I only wish we could say the same for so many others, who were lost.
[There'd never been a chance to even think about a memorial, before.
Peculiar in itself, isn't it? In retrospect. Jedi funerals are brief things, a coffin set into the Temple monastery floor and an appeal to the Force spoken (they are not gone, they are with us and among us now, a part of us, luminous beings, merged with the living Force), a single line of light to mark the place of rest. But Jedi memorials, those rarely did disappoint--made with care, impossible to miss, everlasting. There is a bronzium sculpture of likeness in the Temple's Archives for every Jedi that has ever fallen to the Dark, departed and missed as one in death. There is an impossibly tall and incredibly luminous column of light, on New Holstice, filled to the brim with soft-lit memory moths that number in the thousands and thousands, one for every Jedi that has ever died since the formation of the Republic; capture one and tell it a name, and it will whisper that name over and over to the end of its immortal life.
There hadn't been anyone left, to travel to New Holstice. To travel anywhere. A memorial for whom--the most wanted criminals in the galaxy, sentenced to death if they are not dead already?
But he'd never even thought about it, the notion of it. And that hurts anyway.
A reply doesn't come for a long time.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org No, not dumb. Not at all. You're right.
There hasn't been one held yet.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org I am not sure if there will ever be one, actually. Not at home.
[No, probably not. But--]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Jedi memorials are very involved. I don't
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org have the tools nor the right. Not really. And there are so many names...I don't know the half of them. There wasn't any time to learn them.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org Do you think they would want one? In a place like this. A place like here. It's very far away. I do not know.
[The dead are gone. The living are the people who need funerals.
Fiona knows that in the unsympathetic, cold part of her heart, and she
hates having to explain that to a wounded man. She's not very good at
softening her words. Ultimately, she decides to lie outright.]
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
ur here
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
u should do what u think is best 2 remember them while
ur here
[If she'd had the heart to explain it, it would have been difficult to contend--because it's true, really, at the end of the day. That ties into Jedi philosophy already, in a way; to grieve overly long for the dead was seen as unfitting, joined with the Force as they are, a better peace than could possibly be found in life--something to be happy for. But the living cannot let go so easily.
He's already let go of so many things, and yet still....his hand just never is entirely empty. If a fist is clenched long enough, it freezes shut.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org This is true.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org I've just...never had to decide on these sorts of things before, I suppose. Not on this scale. Not
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org alone
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org I'll think on it. It cannot be very large. But I must learn the names. And it ought to be lasting. Perhaps if we one day find a place that is also lasting...
[Easier said than done, probably, now isn't that? In a place like the CDC. And in a way it goes on to undermine Fiona's point anyway--about not being 'where', but 'who'. For Obi-Wan both of those things are still synonymous, though, difficult to tangle apart. The Temple had stood for thousands and thousands of years. The Temple was home--that was who they were. But where now?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Oh, very well then! Just Fiona, yes.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
But ah...you mean compared to back home, I suppose? It's rather impressive, I will admit. Haven't taken a very thorough look myself yet [on account of haphazardly sleeping since shortly after their arrival, much the same as almost everyone else in Blue at this point] but from what I've read in the files, this crewship's capacity is around 12000 personnel. Quite a few specialized rooms and facilities as well!
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Technically speaking that means we're standing in something larger than a Victory-class Star Destroyer, if I recall the numbers right....that was the biggest ship I was ever in before. This is more like a colony vessel, really.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Then again, however, Star Destroyers are implicit warships, and I think the Neheda is at least partially intended to be part-time residency for CDC recruits as well. So that evens things out a bit, I think...
no subject
so ur saying we r in an outer space apartment complex
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
were u on a lot of warships?
no subject
In essence! Apartment complex is a close enough idea, I suppose.
[A small bit of delay after that, though--not substantial, but probably noticeable. At length:]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Most of the ships I was on in the last three years were warships, yes. Perhaps the occasional political escort, but the majority were combat-designated.
no subject
its a nice place
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
was there a war? im sorry
no subject
Certainly pretty cozy, yes! Or at least, this isn't the worst room I've ever slept in, by a long shot...
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Yes, there was a war. But you've certainly no need to apologize, Fiona--the war was not your fault.
And it's over now, so there's nothing much to be done about it. No more warships for me. [Well, until the CDC decides to drop him on one, probably. But the Neheda doesn't seem to be one yet, and that's enough for now.]
no subject
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
the bunk beds r nice
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
im saying sorry bc its what u do when some1 u kno has been thru something bad. im glad ur ok
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
can i ask about it?
no subject
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
True enough, I suppose. I do thank you for that.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
You may ask if you wish. Though it's not terribly exciting, I'm afraid.
no subject
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
what was it about?
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
im just curious. tell me 2 shut up if u want
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
my world doesnt have nething like what ive heard from other ppl. u got 2 learn somehow right?
no subject
Well, in the end....]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
What it was about?
I wish I knew.
[Yeah, sometimes maybe the honest route is the best one, in the end.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
As you can probably guess by now, the war lasted about three years. All Jedi were made automatic generals. We were peacekeepers, not military, but...
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
We thought we were doing what was right. All we wanted was to end the war as soon as we possibly could. But we were not fighting for the cause we thought we were.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
To be honest with you, Fiona, I'm afraid I'm still trying to figure out what that cause was myself.
no subject
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
u were a general?
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
it sounds awful. im glad ur safe
no subject
Yes. It wasn't terribly enjoyable, to be honest. I never thought myself particularly cut out for general business, you know?
[The Council always called him one of the best. He still has a difficult time really believing it.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
I do appreciate the sentiment, thank you. I suppose safe would be the word... [Actually, probably not really. Is being one of the galaxy's most wanted criminals now a particularly safe occupation? But still, could be worse--so it's still technically right. Technically.] I only wish we could say the same for so many others, who were lost.
no subject
do u want 2 hold a memorial?
[Uh, wait-]
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
i mean if u didnt already have one
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
sorry dumb idea never mind
no subject
Peculiar in itself, isn't it? In retrospect. Jedi funerals are brief things, a coffin set into the Temple monastery floor and an appeal to the Force spoken (they are not gone, they are with us and among us now, a part of us, luminous beings, merged with the living Force), a single line of light to mark the place of rest. But Jedi memorials, those rarely did disappoint--made with care, impossible to miss, everlasting. There is a bronzium sculpture of likeness in the Temple's Archives for every Jedi that has ever fallen to the Dark, departed and missed as one in death. There is an impossibly tall and incredibly luminous column of light, on New Holstice, filled to the brim with soft-lit memory moths that number in the thousands and thousands, one for every Jedi that has ever died since the formation of the Republic; capture one and tell it a name, and it will whisper that name over and over to the end of its immortal life.
There hadn't been anyone left, to travel to New Holstice. To travel anywhere. A memorial for whom--the most wanted criminals in the galaxy, sentenced to death if they are not dead already?
But he'd never even thought about it, the notion of it. And that hurts anyway.
A reply doesn't come for a long time.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
No, not dumb. Not at all. You're right.
There hasn't been one held yet.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
I am not sure if there will ever be one, actually. Not at home.
[No, probably not. But--]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Jedi memorials are very involved. I don't
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
have the tools nor the right. Not really. And there are so many names...I don't know the half of them. There wasn't any time to learn them.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
Do you think they would want one? In a place like this. A place like here. It's very far away. I do not know.
no subject
[The dead are gone. The living are the people who need funerals. Fiona knows that in the unsympathetic, cold part of her heart, and she hates having to explain that to a wounded man. She's not very good at softening her words. Ultimately, she decides to lie outright.]
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
ur here
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
u should do what u think is best 2 remember them while ur here
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
its not where its who
no subject
He's already let go of so many things, and yet still....his hand just never is entirely empty. If a fist is clenched long enough, it freezes shut.]
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
This is true.
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
I've just...never had to decide on these sorts of things before, I suppose. Not on this scale. Not
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
alone
FROM: kenobi.obiwan@cdc.org
I'll think on it. It cannot be very large. But I must learn the names. And it ought to be lasting. Perhaps if we one day find a place that is also lasting...
[Easier said than done, probably, now isn't that? In a place like the CDC. And in a way it goes on to undermine Fiona's point anyway--about not being 'where', but 'who'. For Obi-Wan both of those things are still synonymous, though, difficult to tangle apart. The Temple had stood for thousands and thousands of years. The Temple was home--that was who they were. But where now?
He never was very good at this.]
no subject
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
ur not alone. we r on the same team remember? its not all guns and fighting
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
if u want me 2 help ill b there. its up 2 u
FROM: gallagher.fiona@cdc.org
i dont know how ur religion works but in mine we say some words 2 remember them so they last 4 us
[Because pouring out your aunt's ashes on her favorite street corner is definitely the same thing. Fiona's always been good at editing.]